How to deal with bullies?
For introvert students, high school can be a tricky place to be. The problems start when your child hesitates to share his/her problem with you. In many cases, a child who is being bullied hesitates in exposing the reality to parents/teachers. That make victims suffer continuously and what make this suffering worse is that he is suffering alone. In most of the cases, the children who are targeted by the bullies are introvert, as this gives confidence to bullies that they would never be exposed. They even threaten victims to not share anything, otherwise, be ready to face the worse. All this effects mentality of both victims and bullies. Here victims suffer from low self-esteem, lack of confidence and their physical and mental development suffers as well. One act of successfully bullying someone encourages the criminal mentality of bullies, encouraging bullies to target more children.
As it is rightly believed that exposing a bully is a way of silencing him/her and giving out a message that such behaviour is not expected in a civilized society. Of course, there is a way of exposing bullies as well, as they are also children and they deserve the right lesson not a scar for a lifetime. Now let’s talk about the main steps of action, first is how would you know if your child is being bullied and the second is how to deal with a bully. Let’s discuss these two steps of action one by one.
Firstly, let’s go with how to identify if your child is being bullied.
The first step is a conversation, it is okay if your child is an introvert but you must make sure that your child is comfortable in sharing anything with you. Have that pep talk as often as possible, to make your child feel comfortable and safe in sharing problems and happiness with you.
If your child is not sharing his/her problems with you because of any reason, there are few other ways to figure out if your child is facing a bully. Here we have some common signs to look for in order to know if your child is being bullied-
- If your child is not willing to go to school or is making excuses like fake illness to miss school or going out.
- If your child is taking a different route to school, may be to avoid the bully on the way.
- If your child’s stuff and belongings are missing on a regular basis or being damaged.
- If you notice any unexplained injury or bruise.
- If your child is disturbed without any reason or is not able to concentrate on studies.
- In many cases bullies demand money, so if your child is stealing or asking for more money, you might want to look into the matter.
- If your child is not eating, sleeping and playing as he/she does normally.
- If your child is behaving oddly, like getting aggressive on asking something again and again(it is a way of letting out the frustration).
- If your child is falling low on self-confidence and self-esteem.
Next step of action is stopping the bully and best way to do is exposing the bully in a right manner. Discuss the incident(s) with parents of bully and teachers in school, to prevent other children from the getting bulied. Do it in a mature manner, keeping in mind the bully is also a child and treating and calling him/her out harshly may make it worse or scar the child(bully) for a lifetime.
God forbids, if your child is the victim, make sure you treat him/her sensitively. If required, consult a child psychiatrist or counsellor. At your level, boost the confidence of your child, encourage your child to stand for himself/herself in the right way. Make your child feel always welcome and comfortable to discuss anything and everything with you(parents). Let your child know that bully is facing consequences for his/her bad actions and the matter is considered seriously and take care of, this would give mental satisfaction to the victim.
In the end, always be available for conversation and be friendly with your child. Good conversations are powerful enough to prevent the crimes against your children, by making them aware of these crimes.
Let’s have an open discussion on these sensitive topics!
zamit- Let’s begin!